A baseball legend almost finished with his distinguished career at the age of forty has one last chance to prove who he is, what he is capable of, and win the heart of the woman he has loved for the past four years.

我們在一間舊的恐怖電影院裡，女引票員歡迎觀眾來到。("Science Fiction Double Feature")說書人開始講故事：貝勒和珍納特二人在朋友的婚禮上互相示愛，甚是親密。("Damn it, Janet")他們要去告訴史葛博士，卻在中途遇上意外，車子壞了。二人找到一間古屋，("Over at the Frankenstein Place")卻發現一班異類族人正在慶祝。("The Time Warp") 他們認識了屋主法蘭艾恩弗托（以下略稱為弗托)，及管家烈夫勒夫、女傭瑪妮達、及不知幹甚麼的哥倫比亞（她是女來的）。弗托自己介紹他們的身份，("Sweet Transvestite")並介紹自己的創作，人造人，滿身肌肉的洛奇。二人旋即結為夫婦。("I Can Make You a Man")

突然一人闖入，卻是一個叫和哥倫比亞相愛極喜歡搖滾樂叫艾迪的男子("Hot Patootie")，盛怒下弗托斬死了他。弗托是雙性人，他成功勾引了貝勒，珍納特傷心之餘勾引洛奇，二人打的火熱。("Touch-a-touch-a-touch-a-touch Me")貝勒對自己的感覺甚為微妙。("Once In a While")突然史葛博士，亦同時是弗托的對頭闖入，他懷疑貝勒和珍納特出賣他。然而史葛突然指艾迪是他的姪子，並說出了艾迪的身世。("Eddie's Teddy")洛奇和珍納特的事被弗托知道了，他向珍納特宣戰，("Wise Up Janet Weiss")卻趁機把哥倫比亞、貝勒、史葛、洛奇一伙都捉住了。

在弗托的搞事下，眾人身不由己地在台上跳舞，並開始樂在其中("Rose Tint My World")，弗托更是有感而發。("Don't Dream it, Be it")烈夫勒夫和瑪妮達卻突然闖入，要殺死弗托，弗托向天訴求。("I'm Going Home")可是這沒有用，洛奇、哥倫比亞、弗托都被烈夫勒夫用激光槍殺死。他和瑪妮達決定要回去自己的星球，整座屋子變成了飛船。灰塵散去之後剩下史葛、珍納特、貝勒三個人，他們已經迷失了自我。("Super Heroes")

Penurious but muscle-bound Blake Thorne has made a vast fortune marketing health food and health supplements. He once was a nice fellow, but as his wealth increases, he becomes increasingly self-centered and decadent. One day, he gets in a great paint-gun fight that goes too far. Blake escapes the cops by running into a shopping mall, quickly donning a Santa Suit and pretending to be St. Nick. A head injury causes Blake to suffer amnesia, and an opportunistic "elf" decides to convince Blake that he is indeed Santa. This leads "Santa" to help save an orphanage, filled with adorable moppets, from the machinations of a greedy, insane doctor.