A struggling minor league baseball player retires and woefully returns to his small hometown, carefully dodging old wounds until confronted with the one that hurts the most - the girl that got away.

When loser Duke, who has screwed up every hair-brained scheme he's ever come up with, accidentally falls off a cruise ship and wakes up on a mysteriously abandoned, top secret government island, he discovers that it's overrun with mutants and monsters from a failed 1980s DARPA "super soldier" project to stop the 2nd Cold War.

Follows a sociopathic genius scientist who drags his inherently timid grandson on adventures across the universe.