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The Man's Guide to Women [图书] 谷歌图书
作者: John Gottman / Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD Harmony/Rodale 2016 - 02
Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man?

Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love.

读过 The Man's Guide to Women 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑
此书的三观比较正,虽然书名是写给男性的女性攻略。用的语言虽然有点儿游戏用语,但目标不是教男孩子做花花公子,而是教男性奔着建立长期的亲密关系,去学会与女性相处的方方面面。目标读者,适合情窦初开的男孩子到已经结婚的男性,如何与找到自己的伴侣并与其长厢厮守下去。

两性性关系中,女性看中的是 Trustworthiness 和安全感。男性看中的,一少一多:少冲突多性爱。Trustworthiness 我没翻译,是因为不好翻译,有点儿老实忠诚的意思。但在婚姻中,屡屡看到的是老实人吃亏。不要老实,要真实。

吸引女性的特质有:自信,在某一方面展现出能力。紫霞仙子要的是盖世英雄,每个女子大概也会想要自己的英雄。如果女性对某个男性有意思,总会发出信号,走动一下就可以确定信号是不是想你发出的。

在动物界,很少有物种的两性行为像人类的那么复杂。女性对危险很敏感,因而就容易情绪化。女性生理期有周期性变化,也会引发莫名其妙的情绪。女性对容貌有焦虑,有情感需求和社交需求。男性要学会安抚情绪,赞美对方,支持对方发展友谊。

书中也良心的告诉男性,要远离公主病和Drama女王。

如果要和心仪的女性进入婚姻,长厢厮守,可以大致遵循下面的做法:

谈恋爱的时候要确认:能玩儿的到一起,能够聊得到一起 人生观大致相合 互相能够应对对方情绪,如果要有婚前性,性生活要和谐,偶尔不和谐能包容

进入婚姻前,要确定彼此要的一样:要不要孩子,要几个孩子,要孩子谁带,家庭财务如何处理,家务分工如何安排...

最后,进入婚姻后,还要尽量做一些恋爱时期两个人做的事情,保持关系常青……