Two students at a Catholic girls schools are best friends. One is a shy, withdrawn girl, and the other is a wild, party-'til-you-drop hellraiser. The partier decides to give her "good girl" friend an education in the ways of the world.

Mark Lowe, Private Investigator, is approached by a woman to help her find The Maltese Dildo. Mere description of the dildo drives women mad with desire. Mark must, therefore, interview many women regarding this strange object. Will he find it? Who cares!

In one work day, George Thompson enjoys buxom escort Lilly, Linda Casey helps husband Hugh's career by sleeping with boss Fred Kingsley, whose wife Stella sleeps with stepbrother Gabe, who also sleeps with competitor Claudia Wilson.