Somewhere deep below our nation’s capital lies a secret bomb shelter designed to protect the president in the event of a Russian attack. All of the president’s needs have been anticipated and provided for – from his favorite breakfast cereal to the “syntherotisizer,” a high-tech computer which can be programmed to produce android sex partners of any description. When investigative reporter Barbara Whoozie (Danielle) discovers the secret bunker she inadvertently trips its time lock sealing both her and Major Prod (J. Brooks), the shelter’s guard, for one full year.

A silly plot with a sex detective (Traci Lords) is called upon to get the rich guy to reveal the heirs to his fortune. Early sex scene with a nebbish like assistant Tom Byron gets the movie off to a good start. Eventually Traci gets to the house of the rich dude but never has to have sex with the guy to solve the case. Instead Traci has her usual encounters with a guy (Peter North) and a lesbian scene.

As Geppetto prepares for Christmas, Pinocchio joins a puppet show to earn money for a present. There he meets and elopes with the beautiful girl puppet, Julietta, leaving Geppetto alone and worried.