Colin (Bill Thomas) flies remote-controlled model aeroplanes and plods away as a bureaucrat in a local benefit office. A confirmed failure in all romantic matters, woefully under the thumb of his elderly mother, Colin's latent sexual passions are suddenly set ablaze when the gorgeous Denise (Chrissie Cotterill) appears on the scene. Except that Denise and her boyfriend Roy (Craig Fairbrass) have evil plans for the naive Colin which draw him into a web of sexual intrigue, bizarre life-threatening experiences and a very incompetent murder plot. An off-beat comedy.

Romantic comedy set during the European football championships in 1996, where football fan Martin finds his life is going from bad to worse after losing his job and splitting up with his girlfriend. However, as the football tournament progresses his luck begins to turn, firstly because of England's successes on the pitch, and secondly because of his encounter with a mysterious woman.