And it's probably true. My current computer is a laptop manufactured circa 2015, powerful for its time but still a laptop, which means it can handle some games from 2015 on low settings, but struggles with others. Can definitely run anything released pre-2015. Still can't run GTA4 at a playable framerate. Same was true for my relatively normal stationary computer in 2008. At some point in 2014 I bought a PS3, and eventually bought GTA4 for it, but didn't play it at the time because I guess I've never been crazy about GTA, I just kinda had the feeling that I had to play it.

When I was a kid, I played a lot of GTA 2, 3, Vice City and San Andreas. Again, I could never really call myself a fan, but I always loved the worlds these games created. I have vivid memories of just inhabiting Liberty City, Vice City and San Andreas, and every now and then I have a strong urge to return to them, despite the fact I've always found the actual games rather clunky, the stories in them boring, and the mission design abysmal. Yet I've also heard for ages how GTA4 basically addresses all these issues, finally giving a serious cinematic experience, inspired by Mafia (the game, not the actual mafia).

So, I'm staying with my parents for a while, which means I got access to my PS3, and I decided to finally give this game a go on a console, as G-- I mean Rockstar intended.

I honestly don't enjoy shitting on other people's favorite games, but I found this game absolutely unenjoyable and frustrating. The city, unlike its iteration in GTA3 and Liberty City Stories looks ugly to me. It's always either drenched in orange or shines this blinding divine light in your face, with the rest of the world having drab desaturated colors. Seeing how I only played the old games for their worlds, this one completely fails in that regard, as I find my very existence in it a torture.

On top of that, the performance that is supposed to be good on consoles, is still regularly below 30 FPS. I think even in best case scenarios it's probably at something like 25, or at least it feels that way, and at worst it feels like it drops to 10. Then again it may just be how unresponsive the controls are. Combined with clunky physics and a heavily aliased look, it creates the sense that the game is just not running properly.

I remember playing Saints Row 2 in 2008 and enjoying how they simultaneously expanded and simplified all the customization and menus compared to San Andreas. GTA4 literally did the opposite. You get less options for everything, yet actually navigating between them has become a chore. You enter a clothing store, and you have to approach items that are hanging on the walls, which are just 2-5 variations for each item type, and you have to wait for the animations for the character to try them on. I hated that in San Andreas, and I hate it here, except at least San Andreas gave you a convenient list to pick from.

But I guess GTA4 thought it would be really cool to get rid of as much UI as possible. Meaning you can never tell what time it is or how much money you have by just glancing like you did in the old games. Why? Did anybody ever complain about having that information on the screen?

One entire button is dedicated to a "cinematic camera" that in the past you could just select with your regular camera mode switch, but here you have to hold it for no purpose other than to look cool, despite the fact it makes playing the game more inconvenient.

But honestly the worst thing here is that the mission design is still exactly the same. One of the earliest missions tasks you with saving your cousin and then chasing a guy on a car. I'm convinced it is impossible to actually reach him in that car chase, prove me wrong. Then he gets out the car and you have to run after him. He's hiding in a room on the second story of a building. I come there and start fighting him, which makes him, due to shitty AI, fall out the window, and I have to follow him because he's not dead yet. Then, after beating him, I'm trying to return back to the car, but I have to navigate through the building, as there is no other way to reach land from there. While I'm doing that, apparently I strayed too far away from the car, and the mission is failed. I fucking already beat the guy! It just logically doesn't make sense. Typical GTA bullshit. But I would've forgiven that, if any of this was any fun. But no, each mission feels like a chore, just like in the old games.

So then I thought "fuck missions, I'll just drive around the city and see what I can find." But the game decided to reactivate the mission for me for some reason. That's when I gave up.

I didn't clock how long I played this game, couldn't have been more than 90 minutes, but throughout the entire time it was nothing but frustration and boredom. Nah, fuck this, I'd rather replay Saints Row 2.