Thinking he's competing in Los Angeles' hot Platinum Scissors contest, Scottish hairstylist Crawford leaves Glasgow with a film crew to capture the event. When he learns he's a mere audience member, Crawford must find a way to become the mane event.

Julian and Jeremy, two brothers known as the "Lewis Twins", prefer to spend their time on drugs and joyriding. When their father, Fatty Lewis, breaks his leg working for local bigwig Bryn Cartwright, they show up demanding compensation. Underestimating the vicious humour of the twins Bryn brusquely refuses to pay for the un-insured Fatty and unleashes a ferocious feud.