Eric and Ernie decide to take a holiday to the South of France and unwittingly become mixed up with a band of jewel thieves.

Charlie Tully and womanising Reggie Peek con two rich Italians out of £500,000, but during their flight out, Charlie is arrested for scamming an American and a dog. Reggie stores the money in a Swiss bank and after Charlie is released, is about to tell him where...when he is suddenly killed by Sid Sabbath's gang, whose girlfriend was dating the (now) deceased! The only leads are four tattoos on the girls Reggie had affairs with while Charlie was in jail, but Sabbath is on Charlie's trail, and the tricked Italians have contracted the mob - to find the money, and then kill him...

A nervous bank clerk has to cope with a flood of pornographic mail, under the suspicious eye of his puritanical boss.

Albert Steptoe and his son Harold are rag-and-bone men, complete with horse and cart to tour the neighbourhood. They also live together at the junk yard. Harold, who likes the bright lights in the West End of London, meets a stripper, marries her and takes her home. Albert is furious and tries every trick he knows to drive the new bride from his household.