Some updates on relays:
If you're running #AodeRelay and you want it to be compatible with users of #GoToSocial, you can update to the latest version of the AodeRelay software, which contains fixes and workarounds for various issues which were preventing it from working properly with GoToSocial:
https://codeberg.org/asonix/relay
We already know that any relay using the ActivityRelay software does not work with GoToSocial. This includes large relays like relay.toot.io. We're not sure yet why it doesn't work, but it's been almost a year since ActivityRelay was last updated, so we're not sure if it will ever work. We'll investigate this more from GtS's side and see if there's anything we can do.
Relays that we know work right now are FediBuzz, anything using the most up-to-date version of AodeRelay, and rel.re. There might be more, not sure.
@ gotosocial admins: If you have a relay stuck in "approved: not yet" state and you want to retry connecting to it, you can do this by removing all connections to the relay (pushes and subscriptions), and recreating them.
(How this works: when the last connection to a relay is removed, the Follow targeting the relay gets undone. And when you create a new connection to a relay with no prior connections, a Follow is sent targeting the relay.)
We may in future add something that lets you re-send a Follow to a relay without having to remove + recreate all connections, but for now that's how to do it :)
Hope this helps everyone battling to get their relays connecting properly.