dadjokes

Why could all the attendees at the Halloween party stretch out their arms?

There was plenty of Rumi.

I also saw (for real) an adult with a costume of: a tee shirt with number 7, and he was wearing a surgical mask and holding a box of tissues. He was a "sick seven."

These Halloween jokes will kill with parents of middle schoolers. Trust me.

#halloween #dadJokes

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #socialjusticeforpoultry

Did you know that Yoda had a last name?
It was Layheehoo!
#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #swissfamilyskywalker

I named my dogs Rolex and Timex.

They are my watch dogs.

#DadJokes #HootinTootinTuesday

#presentación Hola gente, soy secondchancelemon y soy marido, papá de un nene de 4 años, y un enfermo renal crónico (genética, mala genética).
Soy abstemio, mi humor es onda #dadjokes, tengo mala memoria, un tímpano roto, me gustan los insultos, las malas palabras, las paradojas y las contradicciones.
Hice un degoogle y encontré Mastodon por casualidad, hace 9 meses, buscando alejarme de las rr.ss algorítmicas. Floté por otras instancias hasta llegar a los rebeldes de Argentina. Acá encontré gente que le gusta #Linux y el software libre, la ciberseguridad, el selfhosting, el activismo político, la filosofía, la psicología, la piratería y todas las cosas nerds que hacen lindo al mundo.
Leí a Douglas Adams y creí haber encontrado al mejor autor de todos los tiempos, hasta que encontré a Terry Pratchett. Ahora estoy re-leyendo "El quinto elefante" con mi esposa, de la Saga de la Guardia.

I saw several cops closing in on a large number of crows. They said they had probable caws, and shouted something about a murder.

#DadJokes

My brother has combined his diploma in taxidermy with his bomb-making skills.

He can now make you an otter you can't defuse

#dadJokes

My wife begged me to stop singing Wonderwall...
I said maybe.

#oasis #wonderwall #dungeoncrawlercarl #dadjokes

Bonus #TrekJokes
Q: How many #Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Klingons do not fear the dark.

Q: How many #Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends how much Latinum you are willing to pay.

Q: How many #Starfleet officers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends if it would violate the Prime Directive.

Q: How many #Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just try to convince you that there are five lights.

(It's #HootinTootinTuesday again! Post some jokes or funny memes under this hashtag today, and bring lots of smiles to #Mastodon.)

#Humor #Humour #FunnyMeme #Space #Jokestodon #Artemis #MoonMission #SpaceMission #NASA #Astronauts #ArtemisII #Artemis2 #StarTrekTNG #StarTrek #StarTrekTheNextGeneration #DadJokes #LightBulbJokes

ALT

What do you call a cow’s knee?

A burger joint.

#dadjokes

Bonus #DadJokes
Q: What did the little firecracker say to the bigger firecracker?
A: "Hi, Pop!"

Q: Why did the firecracker go to the hair salon?
A: It wanted to have shorter bangs.

(It's #HootinTootinTuesday again! Post some jokes or funny memes under this hashtag today, and bring lots of smiles to #Mastodon.)

#Humor #Humour #FunnyMeme #4thOfJuly #FourthOfJuly #AmericanFlag #Patriotism #IndependenceDay #Fireworks #Firecracker #Jokes #Puns

ALT

Not to be a grammar nazi, but people keep saying "I climbed Everest" when it should be "I climbed the most ever." - Tammy Golden

#dadjokes

Did you know that Obi Wan Kenobi had a brother, Obi Too Kenobi?
But their cousin, Fourbi Two Kenobi, was not nearly as clever as they were.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #starwarshumour

What is the best surface to print Dad jokes on?

#EvanPoll #poll #DadJokes

“OOON A BOAAAARD!”

How do train conductors like to serve cheese and crackers?

https://lemmy.ca/post/70717078